Everything that we experience was created from a vast pool of seeming emptiness where all infinite possibilities dwell.  When we are afraid of this dark pool, we are also afraid of our creative power.

Storytime

When I was a little girl, I was afraid of the dark, even though it often brought me comfort.  I know.  That makes no sense whatsoever.  How could I be afraid of “something” while simultaneously being comforted it?

Well, programming that was not mine to bear is the reason.

My mother and her husband were afraid because their parents were afraid and so on and so on.  They often pushed outmoded teachings on me; teachings that never served anybody’s highest good.  Teachings that were based in fear and tyranny.

“Do as I say; not as I do” was a phrase I heard more often than not.

These teachings would fester and stifle my growth for years to come.

No Blame

There comes a time when the child must grow up and make the conscious choice to delete any and all programming that has long since passed its prime.  This is the path I have been consciously on for a few years now.  I have allowed fear to be the uninvited guest in my life, and I have allowed it to stifle my voice for too long.

Giving fear the finger

With September being the month where the energy of 9 (“denotes a finality, the completion of an era”) plays full out, I decided there was no better time than now to cut another cord from my sphere of existence.

A Much-Need Finger

I cut a heavily embedded cord to a family member who has never done anything positive to lift others up.  He is a pathological liar, narcissistic, manipulative man.

I allowed this mirror to live off my energy, on every level, for over a year.  Perhaps, it is because I felt I owed him for the very brief time he looked after my Prince nearly 14 years ago when I was forced to work outside my home.  Who knows.

The final straw was when this mirror expected me to commit fraud for him —with no thought to what would happen to either my Prince or myself if shit hit the fan.  This mirror only cared about what he needed.

So, I called him out.

I called him incredibly selfish o once again place his needs above others, and I told him that he could kiss my goodwill goodbye.

Why should I go down because he is unable to legally manage his household needs?  I should not, and I will not. Not for him; not for anyone.

Anyhoo.

The Void

My thoughts and energy manifest very quickly.  Had I been mindful of how I was feeling and what I was thinking then there would have been no way that vampire could have shown up.  Right?  Ugh.

The Void is unbiased, where manifestations are concerned, which is why manifestations like that always realize themselves rather quickly; oftentimes, leaving me numb in their wake.

From out of darkness, all things come.

I suppose the moral of this rambling post is this: I really need to be more careful about what I think and feel, for said thoughts and feelings will come into play, and when they do, experience has taught me that I will not like them. #MindfulnessMatters